The Indianapolis Star Article about BCforum

World Wide Support

August 25, 1997

By Dan McFeely

Kokomo, Ind. - When "frisius@javanet.com" finally met face to face with jpcombs@netusa1.net there wasn't a dry eye in the room.

Although they've been friends for months - drawn together at a special Web site for breast cancer patients - their only contact had been through the internet.

But on Sunday, Susan Frisius of South Hadley, Mass., spoke to Patricia McCombs of Kokomo without punching the keyboard or clicking the mouse, in part to celebrate McCombs' release last week from St. Vincent Hospital in Indianapolis, where she has spent the past month battling the cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes.

"It's so nice to put a face to a name," said McCombs, using all her strength to sit up in bed and greet her visitors.

"You know, you sound just like you," said Frisius with a warm, encouraging smile.

"I know," responded McCombs. "It's funny how personalities carry through the computer."

McCombs, who usually limits her visitors to her dog, Tish, her cats Ty and Tripod and family members, was presented with a box of 16 individually wrapped gifts that came from other members of her electronic breast cancer support group.

Formed last December, the "BC Forum" meets three times a week at www.lifetimetv.com/chat, a place where members chat about their struggles with breast cancer, all the while developing a sister-like relationship with one another.

McCombs, 45, was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992. She was in remission for three years before she learned it had returned and was spreading throughout her body. Last fall, McCombs found heself in the same postion many cancer patients do - at home alone, depending on family and friends for help.

So she bought a computer and started surfing the Net, where hundreds of Web sites and chat groups exist for every disease known to mankind. Eventually, she came upton BC Forum and joined an estimated 65 regular members who gather at 8 p.m. EST on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays for chat sessions.

Frisius, who drove more than 900 miles to deliver the gifts Sunday, is a breast cancer survivor and head of the Web site. She says the Internet is a wonderful alternative to local support groups.

"It's great. You can come in your pajamas, or if your breast are sore, you can keep your shirt off," said Frisius. "You don't have to wear your prosthetic, and you don't have to put on your wig."

Despite the many miles that separate the members of BC Forum, there are fast-growing bonds that make this group more of a family.

In April, 16 members sent Frisius some painted, embroidered and appliqued squares that another member made into a quilt, as a gift to a struggling member in Atlanta. Frisius delivered it in person.

Frisius admits she was nervous on that first trip.

I thought to myself, "Am I crazy?" she said. "She might be a jerk."

But after the meeting in Atlanta and a subsequent meeting with a group of eight members last month in Denver, she no longer is afraid. Her next trip will be to Suffolk, Va. to another member in need of some extra support.

"I felt very comfortable coming here today," Frisius said.

McComb's 26-year-old daughter, Michelle Nearon, helped arrange Sunday's visit by Frisius and an Illinois member of the BC Forum.

Nearon said she was a little leery of inviting strangers into her home. Usually when one reads about Internet chats leading to real-life meetings, it involves adults, teens and sex, she said.

But she went through with the meeting in hopes it would strengthen the resolve of her mother, who faces chemotherapy treatments for the next six months.

"I wanted to give my mom some hope," Nearon said. "If this can put a smile on her face, then that's all I want. Just to say I love you."

MC, Patricia McCombs, passed away on December 15, 1997 at 8:40 at home after a long hard struggle.

I will remember her as a gentle and quiet woman with a small warm smile that made me feel happy to be with her. As she sat on her bed in August, 1977, making small jokes about her reconstruction, she was a woman surrounded by love from her daughter, her grandsons, the members of bcforum and her pets.

Her daughter, Chell, found BCforum for her and we have been all the richer for having known both of them.

When she came to Bcforum she always brought a feeling of gentleness into the room. I will miss her.

Susan

Michelle's Page 

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Cow six weeks after her last Chemo

To visit The Faces of Breast Cancer Gallery, click on the banner!

BCforum is a chat room for those who have breast cancer and for their friends and family members.

We meet at 8 pm EST every evening for information, hugs and laughter!

To get there, click on the pink ribbons!!!!

Please email me if you have any problems accessing BCforum!

A listserv is an email group. To join a breast cancer or related listserv, click on the pink ribbon icon!!!!

Please buy all your BOOKS/VIDEOS/CDs/DVDs/GIFTS
through the link on my site to amazon.com.

A percentage of each item purchased through the link on my site
will go to help those with breast cancer who have met on the Internet,
meet in person!

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